When you hear the word “freedom” — especially within the context of someone wanting or needing freedom, what does that mean to you? I know what I mean when I say it, but I also know that there are lots of other meanings, and I’m never quite sure what the listener hears when I use the word.
Zero Ties
For some, the word freedom means the absence of obligations, or responsibilities, or expectations from others, or physical / emotional connections.
These things can be very scary — especially if one has largely experienced negative versions of them.
For example, if most experiences of having responsibilities have been surrounded by (or enforced with) guilt, fear, shame, helplessness, or a distinct lack of choice in the matter, new responsibilities will likely be seen (or felt) through this lens.
My Space, My Voice
For others, it’s more a matter of not wanting to be told what to do. By anyone. And anything that looks like it might be construed as conforming to authority or obeying arbitrary rules is strictly avoided.
These are folks who believe that as long as they’re not hurting anyone or anyone else’s property, no one should be able to tell them what they can and cannot do with their land, etc. It’s the freedom to do as they please, as long as they’re not infringing on anyone else’s freedom to do the same.
On principle, I get this.
Free Range
For a portion of the folks I’ve talked to, it’s the freedom to move about the surface of the planet at their leisure.
This may feel very much like wanting to be let off a leash or the way your heart sinks when you see an animal tethered to a tree. Nothing groundbreaking, just the need to live free range.
While this isn’t generally viewed as a crazy notion on its own, I’d challenge you to talk with people about it… I’ve learned a lot about fear and how people view those who are (or want to be) un-tethered. It’s as if the only way they can trust a person is if that person has to be where they are. Choosing isn’t enough.
But As For Me, I Choose…
When I use the word freedom, I generally mean the freedom to choose.
When I was a child, the folks at the nursing home continually warned me not to live on auto-pilot. “Structure’s ok, but routine will steal decades…”
Then there’s the way the light leaves my friend’s eyes when they say “…I can’t, I do such-n-such every Tuesday,” or “…I would rather be at the gig with you, but my schedule’s booked for the next 6 months.” Yes, they’re busy, and they’re doing, but they’re really just along for the ride — they’re not driving.
I find that choosing — even the little things… especially the little things, makes each day a unique event.
I mean that, too.
I don’t have a “morning routine” even though I go to work around the same time-ish every day. Would a routine make my mornings go easier? Maybe. But why would that be my main concern? It’s not like choosing to brush my teeth is difficult in the first place. Would I use the time that I’m saving by not thinking about what I’m doing to serve some greater purpose? Probably not. If 4 decades of research is any indication, I’d remain mentally asleep for as long as humanly possible (which may also explain many of the car accidents during the morning rush-hour).
As far as I’m concerned, choosing is one of life’s greatest (and simplest) pleasures.
I even do things on a fairly regular basis (but not quite a routine) that allow me the freedom to choose. For instance, every few weeks, I’ll bake a chicken, de-bone it, and stick it in the fridge. Yes, this is a fairly regular thing I do, but the reason I choose to do it each time is that it affords me the freedom to choose — on the fly — what I’m going to eat without having to plan too far ahead or dedicate a large chunk of time to it. Baking a chicken provides me the freedom to choose.
I joke about having a Swiss Army Car because I have a little bit of everything in it. Is this about preparedness or survival training? Maybe, but only a little. It’s mostly about the freedom to choose. If I decide to go on an impromptu picnic, I can do so on a moment’s notice. If I decide I’d really like to visit a friend of mine for the weekend, I can head out in a matter of minutes.
Doing things becomes less of a chore and more about joy.
I enjoy getting dressed in the morning, even if I wear (mostly) the same things every day. I think about my day, how my body feels that morning, and I go from there.
As checking-in with yourself and choosing the little, everyday things that bring you the most joy in their own way gets easier and easier, checking-in on the big things gets easier, too. This is where Tomato Box comes into it for me.
My Tiny House is more like baked chicken than being without a leash.
I’m not apprehensive about responsibilities, or connections, or wanting to be in a particular place, or even working with rules and authorities.
The truth is, I will always and forever prefer to be someone who — and be around other people who are where they are, doing what they’re doing, because they choose to be… not because they have to be.
On that note, I think I’ll go for a walk…
XOXO,
